English Much?

As a writer, I am naturally fascinated by the adaptive use of my native language.  Sometimes that also includes adaptive abuse of my native language.  Please permit me to illustrate…
I was very recently at a certain cultural venue which shall remain nameless.  Its identity is not important.  
Also present were two young women.  They were not with me.  
They were, as it happens, very pretty, very young, very well-groomed, very well-dressed and very much aware of all of the above.  
They were not so adept at self-expression and that also soon became apparent.  Which is certainly one good reason why they were not with me.
As they entered the venue they were both within my range of vision and hearing.  The taller of the two, a willowy young blonde, evidently seeking to express her excitement, spread her arms, lifted her head and exclaimed, “This has always been one of my goals in life!”
Her companion, a shorter brunette, obligingly inquired, “What’s that?”
Quoth her companion, “To CULTURE myself!”


Now, the last time I had heard the word “culture” used as a verb in a sentence, the object was either bacteria… or cheese.  Neither of these were being celebrated at this particular venue on this particular occasion.  
To give credit where it’s due, at least this young lady was making some sort of attempt to, shall we say, “enculturate” herself, and that is most laudatory.

Spock Wants To Know

On the other hand, this also fuels my growing conviction as I trundle along my little course on the timeline, that my mortality is truly a good thing.  
By the time Ms. Malaprop has reached the pinnacle of her career as a patron of the arts and humanities, I will be cultured myself and doubtless pushing up the daisies as a result.



About jaypochapin

Married adult human male, father, brother, son, writer, voiceover actor and humorist. Frequently funny, sometimes snarky, occasionally profound. Beatles, Stones, Who, Python, Firesign Theatre, Shakespeare, Bogart/Bacall, Marx Brothers, Alice Cooper and more besides. Have worked as many things: traffic reporter, disc jockey, newscaster, interviewer, producer, copywriter, voice over talent, teacher, emcee, housekeeper, janitor, uniformed security officer, bagel baker's assistant and more, but don't let the uniform fool you, baby! I ... AM ... THE WRITER!

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