Can We All Go Home Now?

There are moments when I wish there was some reasonable limit to the absurdity of modern life.

Anyone who has ever read this blog more than twice already has a pretty clear idea what I think of contemporary domestic politics in the United States.

If you’re not sure, you simply haven’t been paying attention (and I hope that strategy actually works out for you in the end…)

Sofia the First
Someone Who Simply Hasn’t Been Paying Attention And It’s Actually Working Out for Them in The End

I’ve always liked the idea first advanced by the late Science Fiction Grand Master Arthur C. Clarke, namely, that anyone who deliberately seeks the Presidency should therefore be automatically disqualified from holding the post.

Clarke suggested – and I heartily endorse the idea – that the President should be chosen by lottery.

Arthur C Clark Headshot
Arthur C. Clarke, Originator of the Concept of the Presidential Lottery

The only way to avoid serving would be to prove a history of mental/emotional/psychological instability (so a lot of the same people would be doubly disqualified…) Same thing for the legislature and the judiciary branches, selection by lottery.

People always raise the same objection, “But what if somebody is just a really cunning sociopath and they get in anyway?” And then they sit back and fold their arms and look around all smug as if that hasn’t already happened anyway.

dick-cheney
Former Secretary of Defense AND Former Vice-President Dick Cheney.

The answer, of course, is the Civil Service. THEY aren’t chosen by lottery, so all kinds of Guardians of the Incompetency will dampen the effect of the really cunning sociopaths.

By the way, do you think it’s true that if you invent the perfect social media platform the world will beat a sociopath to your door?

The Audience Is Watching
“He’s looking at me…”

What if it’s a tie?

And consider: no self-respecting sociopath will shy away from cheating to get there first.

Maybe it’s just better you should keep the door locked and install a video surveillance system instead so you can check.

You know what? I think I’m done.

Can we all go home now?

m mouse escorts pl travers into theatre
“Come along, darling, I’ve already called the valet and the man should be coming around with our car any minute now…  You just put all this unpleasantness right out of your mind…”

 

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About jaypochapin

Married adult human male, father, brother, son, writer, voiceover actor and humorist. Frequently funny, sometimes snarky, occasionally profound. Beatles, Stones, Who, Python, Firesign Theatre, Shakespeare, Bogart/Bacall, Marx Brothers, Alice Cooper and more besides. Have worked as many things: traffic reporter, disc jockey, newscaster, interviewer, producer, copywriter, voice over talent, teacher, emcee, housekeeper, janitor, uniformed security officer, bagel baker's assistant and more, but don't let the uniform fool you, baby! I ... AM ... THE WRITER!

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