All posts by jaypochapin

About jaypochapin

Married adult human male, father, brother, son, writer, voiceover actor and humorist. Frequently funny, sometimes snarky, occasionally profound. Beatles, Stones, Who, Python, Firesign Theatre, Shakespeare, Bogart/Bacall, Marx Brothers, Alice Cooper and more besides. Have worked as many things: traffic reporter, disc jockey, newscaster, interviewer, producer, copywriter, voice over talent, teacher, emcee, housekeeper, janitor, uniformed security officer, bagel baker's assistant and more, but don't let the uniform fool you, baby! I ... AM ... THE WRITER!

Tax Day + Earth Day = Tearthax Day

It’s all about transparency and accountability.

For the first time in more than two generations, the United States is governed by a President whose financial life remains stubbornly shrouded in secrecy.

His environmental policy harkens back to the rapacious avarice of the so-called “robber barons” of the 19th century.

And a significant number of Americans seem to be okay with that.

Or at least they will be until their own finances are in ruins and almost everything they eat, drink or breathe is toxic.

Of course, in the end, the irony is that the ultra-wealthy will end up trapped by their own heedless avarice, imprisoned in a tightly circumscribed bubble that becomes their permanent and eternal habitat.

Of course, eventually the walls are breached, their sole comfort being that they will be the last to go. There will be none left to mourn or bury or remember them.

But they will have lasted the longest.

Well, THAT was certainly depressing! Time for some comic relief, I think!

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Okaaayy, let’s try again shall we?…

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Many thank yous to all who take time out their own days and nights to visit this humble blog! Please share, like comment or whatever using the assorted widgets below!

Do you know for the longest time I thought a “widget” was what happened when Gidget got mixed up in Necromancy!…

Shows you how much I know!…

Annnnnnd I’m out!

An Homage to Spring

Here, directly above the headline, you see a recent picture of my former hometown (Pittsburgh, PA) taken early this spring. Of course, spring not only means budding flowers and plants, it also means the lawn begins to grow again, too..

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There’s nothing like the return of warm weather to inspire the wanderlust that makes one itching to travel!…

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Here’s a handy infographic that demonstrates how this President spends more time playing golf than Dubya spent clearing brush down in Texas…

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That truly proves a picture is worth a thousand words…

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Without Rick Stevens’ “Diesel Sweeties”, we’d have to rely exclusively on Tom Tomorrow and “This Modern World.”

Whatever else may happen, human nature remains a constant…

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Please like, share and/or comment below. Your visit is appreciated! More posts coming soon!

Annnnnnnnd I’m out!

Too Good To Wait: “Trump’s Legion of Doom!”

It’s been awhile since Jon Rosenberg’s work last graced this humble blog. As soon as I saw this latest art, I felt compelled to share it as soon as possible!…

Thanks again to Jon Rosenberg, from whose mind this cartoon springs. See all his work at http://www.thenib.com! He deserves your support!

And, as always, thanks to you for visiting this humble blog!

Annnnnd I’m out!

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Your assurance of quality… pretty much…

More Political Content, Good Grief!

Gosh! Let’s get down to it shall we, boys and girls?

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Golly, we sure thank all those talented artists at http://www.thenib.com! Like Jen Sorensen, for example!…

Gee whiz, let’s see what Rick Stevens‘ “Diesel Sweeties” have been getting up to!…

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Swell stuff, huh, boys and girls?

Please remember to like or share or comment below, since much of my self esteem as your humble blogger depends on your feedback!

More to come later!

Happy Easter! Happy Passover!

Belated Happy Vernal Equinox, unless you’re in the Southern Hemisphere, in which case, Belated Happy Autumnal Equinox!

There! I’m pretty sure that should cover just about everybody!

Annnnnnd I’m out!

Several Reasons Don Rickles Will Be Missed

As I write these words, beloved insult comedian Don Rickles has been dead for about 72 hours.

His ability to reduce audiences to near helpless laughter was practically the stuff of legend. What follows are just a few of the jokes he made in the presence of – and at the expense of – the revered and the famous:

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Bob Hope

“There’s no booing! There’s no booing! If there’s another outburst we’re going to let Bob Hope get up and do his jokes.”

Bob Hope, as you all know, he’s in the back standing there with three soldiers and an American flag saying ‘find another war.'”.

“We kid, we kid about great stars such as you, Bob. Why? Because you’re old and washed up.”

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Sammy Davis Jr.

“I wish you wouldn’t touch me, Sammy. You people rust.”

“Sammy, you’re a black man. I took a guess. If you ain’t black you fell into a bucket of M&Ms.”

“All peoples are alike. You live in my neighborhood, I’ll live in yours, right Sam? Are you crazy?”

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Dean Martin

“Dean, thank you for the wonderful introduction. You would love the evening if you knew you were here.”

“Dean’s laughing. And why not, Dean? There’s a contract out for you.”

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Lucille Ball

“My wife said to me last night as we laid in bed, she said, ‘Is Lucy young?’ and I said, ‘Baby, young is not the point. It’s what’s in your heart.’ Right, Lucy? Lucy? Put her in a home! Look at this, the husband went, ‘Yeah!'”

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Orson Welles

“Orson Welles, ladies and gentlemen, has been a great star for so many years. This man was married to a great many women in his life. They’re all flat now.”

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Howard Stern

“The man works in a closet, for Christ’s sake.”

“Howard, you look like a Jew Zulu.”

Martin Scorsese and Robert DeNiro

“Marty, you are the most annoying director I ever had in my life. DeNiro is sitting there–God bless you, Bob, he’s got the beard on. To know him is a treat, he’s one of the great actors of our time. You ask him! You ask him, he’ll tell you.”

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Frank Sinatra

“Stand up, Frank, be yourself and hit somebody. And all the guys with him went ‘Is that funny, Frank?'”

“Everybody around couldn’t believe I had the macaroons to say this to him. And I did, and when I came home my cousin was on a hook in the living room.”

“You’re 64 years old, Frank, I’m a friend, I’ve been listening to all the people. You look it, Frank.”

(All I can possibly add to any of the above remarks is that I don’t think I would envy St. Peter right about now… Or even the Devil, for that matter!)

If you missed the cartoons, please don’t worry, I hope to have some more to share next week!

Annnnnd, I’m out.

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Your Humble Blogger
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Operators are standing by…

Cats, Creativity & Caricature!

Let us take a moment to compose our thoughts…

There, that ought to do it.

We begin this latest installment with dependable Rick Stevens’ “Diesel Sweeties...

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Our pixelated pundit likes to tackle the topic of creativity…

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Do you think he has a feline companion (or two) in his life? He certainly seems to relate to them well! I don’t recall ever having seen a dog in any of his work…

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We haven’t seen much of Don Asmussen‘s work recently.

Please permit me to remedy that inadvertent oversight…

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Please be of good cheer! These samples of feline admiration, creativity and caricature are here for your enjoyment thanks in large measure to the permissions of the respective artists!

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As always, I also thank you, the readers who visit this humble blog.

Several weeks back, while pondering where our readers come from, I noted that almost all of our readers hail from the Northern Hemisphere.

Well, a few folks must have taken notice! Since that time, our Readership Research Department informs me we’ve since seen a significant upswing in readers from South Africa!

It would seem word really does travel across the Internet!

Isn’t modern technology wonderful? Seriously, right now I am SO filled with wonder!…

Among other things…

See you again soon!

The Cartoons Are Back!

Okay, no threat of selfish or portentous thoughts this time! Your humble blogger has returned to the tried and true.

Please enjoy the pretty pictures!…

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Thanks to Rick Stevens for permission to repost his “Diesel Sweeties” online comic here!

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Matt Lubchansky weighs in on the topic of the American Healthcare Act

Thanks to all who visit this blog!

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Please hurry back soon!

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Your assurance of quality… pretty much…

No Cartoons This Time.

Think of it as an experiment…

As this humble blog goes careening across the Weird World Web (that is what those three ‘Ws stand for, right?), we will soon be approaching its fourth anniversary.

There’s still so much I do not understand.

Specifically, why am I inundated with offers of webinars, books and classes to help me drive more traffic to my blog?

Listen up, everyone, I don’t want a lot of traffic!

This, this right here, is simply a harmless outlet for my own little essays, frequently peppered with some carefully selected cartoons from artists who largely publish online and see no harm in my reposting the selections of their stuff that I personally enjoy, in their own private dreams of the world beating a digital path to their own online doors.

It goes without saying – up until this dependent clause – that the last thing I ever expect to see is the world beating a digital path to my online door.

Had I ever truly thought it would, I’d be selling my stuff for some Real Money by now and this little diatribe would never have seen the light of your screen.

Believe me, I spent 20 years in American Radio, almost 10 years in TV, and almost every second was steeped in a blind desire to generate the largest audience possible. And in the end, it made no difference how well I had achieved that goal. That career came to a close.

Trust me, large audiences are overrated… and they can be so constricting as to make a python blush.

No, what really baffles me about blogging is the seeming irrelevance of the locations from which my blog is read.

Don’t get it twisted, if anybody at all reads these posts, I figure I’m waaaaaay ahead of the game.

But the assortment of countries often puzzles me.

Since English is my native language, I’m not surprised to see the United States and Canada as the top two countries that read my stuff. But then come Germany and France… Followed by the United Kingdom (for as long as that lasts…) Considerably further down the list come Australia and New Zealand.

Unless you’re seeing this blog for the first time, you know I take an almost unhealthy interest in American Politics.

I suppose many other people are at least as baffled as I am about, you know, that person in the White House.

You know, the one who tweets. A lot.

Sorry, folks, all out of profound insights on that one! Your guess is as good as mine. I got nothin’.

I’ve never thought of my self as racist or sexist. Is there such a thing as “hemispherism”? Almost all of this blog’s readers live north of the equator.

Do my posts somehow subtly signal that I’ve never spotted the Southern Cross in the night sky, or that when I flush a toilet, the water flows counterclockwise?

For the first half of last year, I was seeing a tremendous amount of traffic out of Brazil. I have absolutely no idea why. I’d like to think I briefly benefited from a fleeting craze during which sun-bronzed nubile 17-year-old girls followed my every word while tanning themselves and listening to sambas along the beaches of Rio.

It’s the romantic in me.

It seems I do not appeal to Scandinavian tastes at all. That’s okay; apart from Ibsen, Ingrid Bergman and smoked pickled herring, I can’t claim to admire much there. I don’t even care for IKEA. They can keep their meatballs. If I want to eat something bland, there’s no shortage of American cheese over here.

Also, while I appear to be generally well tolerated on the European continent, nobody in Spain reads my blog. Again, I have absolutely no idea why. I mean, if people in France and Portugal find me acceptable, why should the Spanish shun me? I can’t recall having ever expressed anything even remotely insulting to such a revered culture.

What am I to make of this seemingly arbitrary trivia?

Of course, I am nothing if not mercurial, so that could change at any time. In other words, if you happen to know anyone in Madrid or Barcelona, you may want to tell them to get with the program while I still currently revere them.

The absences of certain other locations I completely understand.

For example, I fully comprehend why nobody reads this in Russia, China, Cuba or the Philippines. On the other hand, I appear to draw a small but devoted readership in Malaysia. Don’t ask me why; no idea.

However, where are the readers in places like Chad, Peru or Sierra Leone?

Oh, Iceland, are you out there?

Come in, Latvia, all is forgiven!

Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe the whole low profile thing keeps me out of harm’s way. Quite possibly there’s a hidden benefit to being too small to be considered worth bothering with?

I think I just invented Humble Narcissism.

Too bad there isn’t a market for it…

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Ode to an Odd Spring

It’s been practically two months since the Trump inauguration. The standing of the United States has dropped steeply and swiftly.

The news has been filled with details of a White House in chaos and a President whose lack of engagement rivals that of Louis the XVI.

He has wasted no time betraying the desperate working poor who helped to elect him and his administration spends most of its time denying reality.

Appointees are selected seemingly without concern for their backgrounds or their fitness or their competency.

Can you tell I’m a little depressed over this?

Let’s cheer ourselves up with Tom Tomorrow

Of course, when it comes to escapism via mayhem, Rick Stevens is usually a trustworthy refuge…

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Let’s hear from Matt Lubchansky, who comments on the current U-S Attorney General, Jeff Sessions…

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Okay, I admit it, I’m still pretty bummed out here.

But the world is not without hope!

Children are still being born and still being loved and still love. The days are now longer than the nights and will continue that way for about 6 more months.

And with every misguided and misanthropic step he takes, the 45th President of the United States cements his destiny as a one-term president.

Once his political base wakes up to their harsh new reality, his fate is sealed.

Now, could we please lighten up the mood a little around here?…

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That’s more like it!  

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As always, I thank the artists whose work appears in this humble blog.

Also, thanks to you, gentle visitor!

Please know that your humble blogger thrives on your approval, so please make my day by liking, sharing, commenting, etc., below.

Please return soon!

 

RSDS: Cats Can Be Stubborn!

And so can people!

First up, Rick Stevens and “Diesel Sweeties”:

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Of course, there’s a reason both species have a reputation for being stubborn:

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Okay, so much for felines and their companions, let’s move on to something almost as universal, courtesy of contributor Matt Lubchansky:

Some of the folks who actually return to this humble blog voluntarily may be wondering why we haven’t gotten around to something by Tom Tomorrow..

Well, to them I say:

And, in closing, please return soon!

Remember, the CIA, the NSA, the FBI, the RCMP, the White House, MI-5, #10 Downing Street, the Kremlin and probably the Salvation Army as well already know you’ve visited this humble (and inoffensive) blog.

Good luck!

(And don’t get too smart in front of your Samsung smart TV…)