Tag Archives: Comedy

Several Reasons Don Rickles Will Be Missed

As I write these words, beloved insult comedian Don Rickles has been dead for about 72 hours.

His ability to reduce audiences to near helpless laughter was practically the stuff of legend. What follows are just a few of the jokes he made in the presence of – and at the expense of – the revered and the famous:

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Bob Hope

“There’s no booing! There’s no booing! If there’s another outburst we’re going to let Bob Hope get up and do his jokes.”

Bob Hope, as you all know, he’s in the back standing there with three soldiers and an American flag saying ‘find another war.'”.

“We kid, we kid about great stars such as you, Bob. Why? Because you’re old and washed up.”

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Sammy Davis Jr.

“I wish you wouldn’t touch me, Sammy. You people rust.”

“Sammy, you’re a black man. I took a guess. If you ain’t black you fell into a bucket of M&Ms.”

“All peoples are alike. You live in my neighborhood, I’ll live in yours, right Sam? Are you crazy?”

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Dean Martin

“Dean, thank you for the wonderful introduction. You would love the evening if you knew you were here.”

“Dean’s laughing. And why not, Dean? There’s a contract out for you.”

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Lucille Ball

“My wife said to me last night as we laid in bed, she said, ‘Is Lucy young?’ and I said, ‘Baby, young is not the point. It’s what’s in your heart.’ Right, Lucy? Lucy? Put her in a home! Look at this, the husband went, ‘Yeah!'”

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Orson Welles

“Orson Welles, ladies and gentlemen, has been a great star for so many years. This man was married to a great many women in his life. They’re all flat now.”

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Howard Stern

“The man works in a closet, for Christ’s sake.”

“Howard, you look like a Jew Zulu.”

Martin Scorsese and Robert DeNiro

“Marty, you are the most annoying director I ever had in my life. DeNiro is sitting there–God bless you, Bob, he’s got the beard on. To know him is a treat, he’s one of the great actors of our time. You ask him! You ask him, he’ll tell you.”

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Frank Sinatra

“Stand up, Frank, be yourself and hit somebody. And all the guys with him went ‘Is that funny, Frank?'”

“Everybody around couldn’t believe I had the macaroons to say this to him. And I did, and when I came home my cousin was on a hook in the living room.”

“You’re 64 years old, Frank, I’m a friend, I’ve been listening to all the people. You look it, Frank.”

(All I can possibly add to any of the above remarks is that I don’t think I would envy St. Peter right about now… Or even the Devil, for that matter!)

If you missed the cartoons, please don’t worry, I hope to have some more to share next week!

Annnnnd, I’m out.

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Your Humble Blogger
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Operators are standing by…

Can We All Go Home Now?

There are moments when I wish there was some reasonable limit to the absurdity of modern life.

Anyone who has ever read this blog more than twice already has a pretty clear idea what I think of contemporary domestic politics in the United States.

If you’re not sure, you simply haven’t been paying attention (and I hope that strategy actually works out for you in the end…)

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Someone Who Simply Hasn’t Been Paying Attention And It’s Actually Working Out for Them in The End

I’ve always liked the idea first advanced by the late Science Fiction Grand Master Arthur C. Clarke, namely, that anyone who deliberately seeks the Presidency should therefore be automatically disqualified from holding the post.

Clarke suggested – and I heartily endorse the idea – that the President should be chosen by lottery.

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Arthur C. Clarke, Originator of the Concept of the Presidential Lottery

The only way to avoid serving would be to prove a history of mental/emotional/psychological instability (so a lot of the same people would be doubly disqualified…) Same thing for the legislature and the judiciary branches, selection by lottery.

People always raise the same objection, “But what if somebody is just a really cunning sociopath and they get in anyway?” And then they sit back and fold their arms and look around all smug as if that hasn’t already happened anyway.

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Former Secretary of Defense AND Former Vice-President Dick Cheney.

The answer, of course, is the Civil Service. THEY aren’t chosen by lottery, so all kinds of Guardians of the Incompetency will dampen the effect of the really cunning sociopaths.

By the way, do you think it’s true that if you invent the perfect social media platform the world will beat a sociopath to your door?

The Audience Is Watching
“He’s looking at me…”

What if it’s a tie?

And consider: no self-respecting sociopath will shy away from cheating to get there first.

Maybe it’s just better you should keep the door locked and install a video surveillance system instead so you can check.

You know what? I think I’m done.

Can we all go home now?

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“Come along, darling, I’ve already called the valet and the man should be coming around with our car any minute now…  You just put all this unpleasantness right out of your mind…”

 

RSDS – The Signs of Fall

This blog is blessed because I have the delightful task of curating some truly inspired artists, not the least of whom would be Rick Stevens and his unique series, “Diesel Sweeties“.

At this time of year, “Back to School” is the dominant mantra and when you combine that with Rick’s unique perspective on robots and feline companions, this is what you get…

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And at the same time, people start decorating with corn stalks and pumpkins while they stock up on candy, since Halloween is rapidly approaching.

It should come as no surprise to learn the “Diesel Sweeties” crew has its own resident vampire…

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Many thanks of the season to Rick Stevens for his permission to make use of his work!

Many thanks for your visit!

Please return to enjoy more posts in the very near future!

DC vs Marvel

On a recent post (“RSDS – Wars VS Trek!”) I commented that cartoonist Rick Stevens had reconciled two separate but equal comic fictional universes.

Today, he does it again…

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I hope you’ve enjoyed this as much as I have!

Never doubt that each and every visit to this humble blog is appreciated!

Any comment you may wish to leave can be entered just under the sharing buttons below…

Please come back again soon!

RSDS: Wars VS Trek!

If you’re going to create a comic strip about Millennials, sooner or later you must address this conflicted issue, and Rick Stevens, taking the bull by the tail, squarely faces the situation (my apologies to the late William Claude Dukenfield…)

R Stevens Diesel Sweeties Star Wars

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Fortress of Pixellation…

R Stevens Diesel Sweeties Star Trek

I don’t care HOW seriously you take these separate but equal cinematic universes, you’ll never convince me you didn’t smile at least twice just now!

And now, our standard closing exhortation…

Assuming you’re an American (almost 70 % of all visits to this blog originate in the USA), please make it a priority to do whatever it takes to register to vote and then cast your ballot on Tuesday, November 8th!

Thanks for your faithful visit!

Please come back again soon!

Love ya, you’re a beautiful person, seriously, this I can tell you!…

P.S.: Regarding a certain political person’s surprise visit to a country just south of the Rio Grande later today… “It’s a trap, Jim!”

Trumpemon GO!

I think the following speaks for itself. I only add that I hope you enjoy it as much as I do:

Pokemon GO Trump Edition

To all my fellow citizens of the United States, if you’re not yet registered to vote, please do so ASAP.

And if you’re already registered, please make it your TOP PRIORITY to vote on Tuesday, November 8th!

 

Thanks for visiting this blog and

please return soon!

Rick Stevens’ Dilbert/Diesel Sweeties Mashup

One of the more engaging things about enjoying any cartoonist’s work is how much they tend to acknowledge each other.

So it’s not surprising to see Rick Stevens creating this small homage to Scott Adams.

Adams is the artist behind the wildly popular “Dilbert” comic strip which usually satirizes the modern-day geek in a business office environment…

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A week or two back I promised to post a picture of Rick Stevens.

Well here he is, just as he appears on the back book jacket of his cartoon anthology, “Bacon is a Vegetable, Coffee is a Vitamin”…

Rick Stevens book jacket photo

As always, I thank him for his gracious permission to reproduce his work on this blog. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Please come back and visit again soon!

DNC Bingo!

Last week, on CBS’ “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert”, the writers came up with a Republican Convention bingo card to make watching the coronation of the Donald more interesting for viewers.

Not to be outdone, this week Brian McFadden in The Nib offers up a Democratic Party version!

Brian McFadden DNC Bingo card

Please remember that in most states any form of gambling is prohibited, so please never forget that this is supposed to be a game of skill, not a game of luck…

Good luck!

Love Me, Love My Podcast…

Hello! I hope your American Independence Day Holiday was enjoyable.

If you’re visiting from France, please accept felicitations for a happy upcoming Bastille Day, and if you’re my Mom, Happy Birthday in just a few days!

It is with the greatest pleasure that I once again post a Rick Stevens “Diesel Sweeties” cartoon:

R Stevens Diesel Sweeties podcast

Having spent some 20 years in Radio, I can relate to the needy little hipster who hungers to confirm that SOMEBODY is listening to his stuff.

My earliest professional experience was on small, low-power daytime AM Radio Stations, whose audiences were limited to those living within a 15-mile radius of the transmitter.

You could describe their formats as “niche programming”, but a more candid adjective would have been “desperate”.  In the business, such stations are broadly described as “a dollar a holler”, which is meant to be a disparaging description of their advertising rates.

I happen to be personally acquainted with more than a few people who podcast.  It’s very similar, but it’s not the same.

I wish them all the best.

Thanks for visiting my humble blog!

Please come back again soon!

Kotopopi Asks Only One Question!

I’m beginning to recover from the dismay at the violent acts which left the American public in a state of shock last week. So…

Let’s shift the atmosphere, shall we?

One of the great joys of blogging is discovering so many people in different places who share your interests.

I’ve recently encountered the wonderful talent of a young lady in France who draws some very ingenious cartoons. She’s multilingual and something of a student of relationships, dogs and Western Popular Culture.

She goes by the pen name “Kotopopi”. I have yet to discover her real name, but it doesn’t matter because she’s good and that’s all that counts.

She has recently started a new series entitled “If I Had Only One Question, I’d Ask…” It’s wonderful and I hope you enjoy the samples below as much as I have!

KTTP - Coyote Pizza

As you can see directly above, more of her art can be viewed at her web site, although she has graciously permitted me to post some samples of her artistry here as well.

KTTP - Cinderella

And…

KTTP - Charlie Brown Shirts

KTTP - Smurfs

Okay, that’s all for now… My thanks to the one and only Kotopopi!

Please take good care and come back soon!